What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence, also called intimate partner violence, happens in many forms including physical, emotional and economic violence, and can affect people of any age. It does not have to be within the home to be classified as domestic violence. It is a form of violence that can occur within any relationship (family or intimate partner). Domestic violence is about power and control and there are many ways this control can be expressed.
If someone is hurting you it can be very scary and it may be hard to know how you can stop it. It is important to remember that no one has the right to be violent towards you and there are people out there who can help.
Types of intimate partner violence
Below are some of the forms that domestic violence may take.
Physical - If someone is hurting you, or threatening to hurt you, a loved one or a pet, then you will need to take some action. For more information about what physical abuse is, see 'What is physical abuse?'
Emotional - This form of violence is often unrecognized and can be very hurtful. To find out more about emotional abuse, read 'What is emotional abuse?'
Economic - Having money and being able to make decisions about it, is one means of being independent. If someone is controlling your money, keeping you financially dependent, or making you ask for money unreasonably, then this is a form of violence
Social – Social violence occurs in relationships that often include other forms of violence. If someone is insulting you or teasing you in front of other people, keeping you isolated from family and friends, controlling what you do and where you go, then they are being violent and you may need to take some action
Spiritual - This type of violence involves a situation where you are not allowed to have your own opinions about religion, cultural beliefs, and values, or your spirituality is manipulated to keep you feeling powerless.
How can I keep myself safe?
At times we underestimate the amount of danger we are in, either because we don't realize or don't understand how dangerous a situation is. Part of an abuser’s control can be minimizing the seriousness of what they are doing. Being safe is important and there are things you can do to ensure your safety.
Sometimes it is hard to work out the danger or risks yourself. Police, and the NGOs can help you work out risks and how to stay safe.
Steps to ensure your safety:
Is there immediate danger? How likely is it that someone will hurt you? If necessary, you may have to move to somewhere safe. See ‘What should I do' for detailed info
Do you have support? Making a decision to leave a situation where you feel unsafe may be hard and scary. If possible, talk to someone you trust, like a friend, counselor or youth worker
Talk to the police: If you feel unsafe the police are good people to talk to. If you or someone you know has been hurt, the police will be able to help
Believe in yourself: If someone is hurting you or threatening to, it can be hard to maintain your self-confidence. Remember it is never okay for someone to hurt or threaten to hurt you
Know your rights: It may be a good idea to check out your legal rights.
Remember -- emotional abuse is never your fault. In fact, your partner may just be trying to control or manipulate you into staying in the relationship.
Here are some characteristics:
• Using economic power to control you
• Threatening to leave
• Making you afraid by using looks, gestures or actions
• Smashing things
• Controlling you through minimizing, denying and blaming
• Making light of the abuse and not taking your concerns about it seriously
• Continually criticizing you, calling you names, shouting at you
• Emotionally degrading you in private, but acting charming in public
• Humiliating you in private or public
• Withholding approval, appreciation or affection as punishment